Birthday

WARNING: this is a venting post & if you don't want something real & raw then please don't read this! Thanks!!!


Today is my birthday. I am happy to have life. Let's get that out of the way first. But I have only had a 3 birthday parties in all my 30+ years. All I planned except one. This is an area where i struggle because well, i don't know why-maybe all the promises as a child that my dad said that never came to pass...empty promises and pain...not even about material things but the fact that i am remembered. I don't want pity. I need to vent. It just hurts especially to a child but Jesus remembers me!!!
I don't understand why my birthday has never been a happy occasion. But Jesus sees me :)
Empty promises will equal an eternity of life because I put my trust in Jesus
My pain is too real for me not too.
I have nothing else to lose and everything to gain!
Also I am thankful for the people who do say "happy birthday" it brings a little healing to my soul. I am not perfect and God is working on me jut like everyone else. I know that His work in me is not complete-AMEN!!! I plan stuff for my children to have good memories and i pray that they do! I dont want them going thru this as adults-Thanks for reading
And have a good weekend!